Hey! Hey! Tweak Today — Nov 08, 2009: Tell us about a problem that you're having (of any kind – cookery, love, technical, etc). Help other people out and post ideas in the comments :-D

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Can anyone suggest a good wine to accompany a Pad Thai?

Nov 09, 2009 10:16 by a_noob

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I can't, but my wine aficionado friends did. They suggest:

A light white. A Riesling or a Pinot Grigio.

Kirin Beer, but...
Yeah, I'd be up for ordering a Pinot Grigio. I have a hard time imagining finding a Riesling I found drinkable in the average Thai restaurant. Many hole in the wall places just have generic white or red, hence the serious beer preference. If you can BYOB then it opens your options a lot.

If I could BYO I would probably lean toward sake - a ginjo, medium dry, chilled one.
I also actually like sparkling wine with Thai food, again, medium dry.

Nov 09, 2009 13:29 by kellydna.

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If I had this my problems would be solved. They all trace back to not enought money.

Nov 09, 2009 07:14 by redd141

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and not being able to spell.

Nov 09, 2009 16:52 by redd141.

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I seem to have a lot of problems lately, mostly because of a lack of something. So instead of going "I have this problem!" I decided I'm going to think of the things I don't have problems with and don't lack :D

Nov 09, 2009 05:17 by mithredat

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you don't lack friends on Tweak Today! :)

Nov 09, 2009 10:12 by a_noob.
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@a_noob: awww thank you very much, that's so sweet :D

Nov 09, 2009 12:37 by mithredat.

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There are not enough hours in a day. 24 just isn't enough for what I want/have to do.

Nov 09, 2009 03:21 by chaomancer

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make a list of everything that you think you ahve to do. Then make a second list of everything that will take less than half an hour. If these are recurring things, assign days to them. You'll feel much better.

Nov 09, 2009 13:18 by redd141.

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My big problem is how to focus on writing my dissertation when I work at home and have fun blogs to read and Tweak Today missions to run.

Nov 08, 2009 22:24 by nonlinear_time

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give yourself a set time for work, use an alarm... take regular breaks... i don't know what to say really, i have the same problem but i recently stayed in a village where there was no connection, it was a very productive week.
what's the subject of your dissertation?

Nov 09, 2009 00:49 by coco-tidan.
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If you use a Mac, use something like Freedom: http://macfreedom.com/ I've had this problem myself. Couldn't really solve it though. Setting specific work times and then rewarding yourself with some blogs/TT might work, but requires a lot of discipline.

Nov 09, 2009 03:20 by chaomancer.
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@coco-tidan: Archaeology. Prehistoric Greece. I too have had some extremely productive weeks without internet connections in various places.

Nov 12, 2009 08:58 by nonlinear_time.

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Help me Obi Won Kanobi. I have fallen way behind on my TweakTodays. The farce is weak within me.

Nov 08, 2009 21:33 by sydtheskeptic

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Ah we've missed you syd.
Here's what to do... suggest a load more missions. They are bound to be picked because, frankly, they are a bit more creative than most and we like that on TweakToday.
When they are picked, you'll get an email the day before they come live and that will remind you to come on the site and do a mission!
Simple.
You win, we win, everyone wins!
But seriously... I miss seeing your input. :-)

Nov 09, 2009 03:10 by demander.
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@demander: You have demandered it. I shall make it so. ;o)

Nov 09, 2009 04:35 by sydtheskeptic.
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I've been busy for a while so I'm just planning to do them anyway, just a bit later :p

Nov 09, 2009 04:53 by mithredat.

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I lack the motivation to work out/ get my fitness on. I've been using the, "Your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend looks better than you. Get it together!" tactic, but that only makes me want to punch people (her). Other than "better health" as a motivator...what do you recommend?

Nov 08, 2009 21:21 by mellaniet

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How about signing yourself up for a race - a 5K or even a marathon (or triathlon). Having a goal of completing something like this may motivate you to stick with a training schedule.

Nov 08, 2009 22:22 by mandy716.
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First, find something physical you enjoy- it doesn't even have to involve spandex and sweat. A little can go a long way when you do it enough, and if it's something you love, you will be happy to do it. For the motivation, I work out until I feel sexy. Then I sort of do whatever, and when I stop feeling sexy, I work out again. I admit I invested a decent amount of time getting to the feeling sexy stage and part of that was accepting parts of my body that might not be fashionable, but aren't going anywhere. It's all about feeling good about yourself. You can do it!

Nov 08, 2009 22:22 by nonlinear_time.
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Make sure the work out is something you enjoy, set a goal/routine (something realistic that you'll stick to) and most importantly, get up and do it!! Just once will make you feel better

Nov 08, 2009 23:46 by kandilquick.
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Two things that worked for me (worked, because I'm slacking off now): make sure you know why you do it (it has to be because you want to change) and track the progress so you can feel good about what you achieved, no matter how little it may be at first. (have your boyfriend) take a picture of the 'before' and then compare it to the 'çurrent' situation from time to time. Track miles run or weight lost or whatever, and see how they increase over time.

Nov 09, 2009 03:25 by chaomancer.
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You could also find other ways to lose weight (if that's what you're trying to achieve with the weightloss :) )

Nov 09, 2009 04:54 by mithredat.
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Find a place that has lots of good looking people in tight clothes. There's all kinds of motivation.

Nov 09, 2009 10:19 by passepartout.
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do it now to avoid health issues later on that you will not be able to fix.

Nov 09, 2009 13:18 by redd141.

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I feel like I need to move out of my parents' place, but I'm a full-time college student and even thought they can afford it, they don't want to help me out. They're Mormon, and I'm gay, and they're afraid I'm going to have my boyfriend move in with me, or at the very least take advantage of having my own place for... "special time" with said boyfriend. My kinda-family-mostly-my-therapist also believes that it's time for me to move out. But the 'rentals won't budge.

Also, I feel like when I try to socialize/give input I come off as snobby and stubborn, when I'm not. I think sometimes it just comes off as "matter-of-fact" or "look at me I know this, this, and this" to people, when I just want to converse or help out. :[ *sigh*

Nov 08, 2009 18:05 by jvanalstyne

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Could you move in with your boyfriend?

It's too bad that you have to be dependent on your parents, but if they don't want to provide you the money, I'm not sure if there's anything you can do if you can't or don't want to work part-time. Might have to wait until you're done with school or until you can move in with your boyfriend.

Without getting too personal, I'm glad to hear that you've come out to your parents, though. We've all heard worse stories. Plus, I don't know many parents that want their kid to have "special time" with a significant other, regardless of what religion they are, or gender/sexual orientation you are. They sound like they're just being parents.

The last part sounds like you're hanging out with some soft-skinned people. Maybe meeting people via small groups would work better.

Nov 08, 2009 18:50 by athanie.
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@athanie: Well, he lives with his parents, too. I've been looking for a job and have applied to many places, but apparently there's something horrid on my resume that everyone but me can see. >_>;;

That's true, about parents in general, but it's just unsettling that their fear about trivial things like that are what get in their way. I guess to them though, they aren't so trivial...

Thanks for the advice! ^-^

Nov 08, 2009 18:58 by jvanalstyne.
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So how's life at home with Mormon parents and being gay :|?

Nov 08, 2009 19:38 by soarkaios.
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move in with your boyfriend

Nov 08, 2009 19:51 by discomeg2.
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Finish school, find a job, and take it from there.
I am sorry, but I do not believe there is an easier way.

Nov 08, 2009 19:59 by leopicado.
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I think that if you want to make moving out a priority, then you will find a way to do it. Get a part time job, consider subletting a room in a house, find some roommates so you can split rent, whatever. I certainly did a whole lot of growing up when I was in my early 20s, and a lot of that was because I was away from my parents and forced to figure life out for myself. Your parents have to accept that you're moving out eventually, and whatever you do in your own space and with your own time is none of their business.

Nov 08, 2009 21:23 by mandy716.
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Your parents won't change and they won't fund your lifestyle. There's no way around it -- it's your choice.

Nov 09, 2009 10:20 by passepartout.
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Don't you have student loans over there? :o

Nov 10, 2009 15:25 by mithredat.

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I'm expected to provide a couple of appetizers/side dishes for this coming Thanksgiving. We're going to a friend's house that's an extremely good cook and comes from a family of chefs. Does anybody have an amazing idea?

Nov 08, 2009 17:50 by athanie

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What about pie? I have an excellent cherry pie recipe that went over really well last Thanksgiving with my friend's family.

Nov 08, 2009 18:00 by kellydna.
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@kellydna: Ooh do tell!

Nov 08, 2009 18:03 by athanie.
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Stuffed mushrooms. (I know I posted about these before but they're still a good idea) They're easy, already portioned, and you can fill them with different fillings. Also saw an idea in a magazine where they stuffed cherry tomatoes with avocado (or guacamole) and topped that with a small pc of a monterey jack cheese. (and put that on a stick). I wanna try it sometime. I've made mini meatballs as an appetizer and they were a big hit. There's no reason to try and out-cook a chef. Make whatever you're comfortable with. Something you know you do well and your family likes/have complimented you on.

Nov 08, 2009 18:06 by stephie.
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Last comment, I swear...
Must... sleep...
I'm going to link you to this, not because I've tried it and can attest to it's deliciousness, but because I want to try it so badly but do not have access to fresh corn here. Come to think of it, I've also yet to see wild rice.
So if this looks like your sort of thing, and you make it... please tell me all about it!

Nov 08, 2009 18:07 by merendis.
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oops, forgot to link: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/10/fresh-corn-with-wild-rice-a-delicious-holiday-sidedish/

Nov 08, 2009 18:08 by merendis.
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You can find the recipe here: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Perfect-Cherry-Pie/Detail.aspx
p.s. The photo of the single piece is my actual pie!

Nov 08, 2009 18:08 by kellydna.
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Pumpkin Gnocchi!

http://www.instructables.com/id/Pumpkin-Gnocchi-with-Tomato-Olive-Sauce/

This recipe really needs to be practiced beforehand, because my first attempts didn't taste like pumpkin... at all...
I tweaked it a bit myself, and finally got it right! :]
It tastes divine with a Bechamel Sauce!

Nov 08, 2009 18:09 by jvanalstyne.
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@stephie: Yes, you're right on not trying to out-cook them. I've done stuffed mushrooms before but totally forgot about them--thanks for reminding me.
@merendis: Hehe the commentary in the guide is quite funny. I happen to have wild rice in my pantry too.
@kellydna: Looks fabulous!
@jvanalstyne: I've really liked gnocchi when I've eaten it before. I didn't know pumpkin and gnocchi could be combined!

Nov 08, 2009 18:26 by athanie.
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@athanie: Yeah! According to the recipe gnocchi is normally made with potatoes, so I guess pumpkin isn't so far off!

Nov 08, 2009 18:59 by jvanalstyne.
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@jvanalstyne I make gnocchi with just flour and ricotta cheese and it is AWESOME, especially with a fresh tomato and basil sauce.
@athanie I second (or 3rd or whatever) the stuffed mushroom idea, hard to go wrong with those! or pie :) I just made an apple butter pumpkin pie that everyone around here decided was better than regular pumpkin pie (i made the apple butter too)

Nov 08, 2009 19:41 by jenaissance.
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http://meghansland.wordpress.com/category/recipes/

here are some of my recipes......got a killer chick pea salad i made last year for goforsaken Tgvin. let me know if you want the recipe.

Nov 08, 2009 19:54 by discomeg2.
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Most good cooks are not a judgmental as you think they are. They would appreciate any help you offer. I would avoid anything made with canned, mucusy soups. True gourmets recoil from that.

I would avoid trying to please them and think about what the other guests would like. Bring something unique to your past, from your family's traditions, and tell the guests about it.

Nov 09, 2009 04:11 by passepartout.

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I am addicted to helping people, I will go into debt to help someone out... it doesn't matter if I know them or not, If I hear they have a problem... I want to fix it. and because of this I can't seem to pay off my credit card because it stays up there....*sad*

Nov 08, 2009 16:38 by sunsetlover68

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You need to make yourself a priority. Just think how many people you could help if you get your own life under control and then have the extra time/money to give to others, and you'd be a great role model. Not to mention how good you'd feel about yourself!

Nov 08, 2009 21:26 by mandy716.
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Think of yourself and your credit card as a person that needs help :D

Nov 09, 2009 04:55 by mithredat.
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You can help people without spending any of your money.

Nov 09, 2009 10:21 by passepartout.
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stop. get help.

Nov 09, 2009 13:19 by redd141.
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.

Nov 09, 2009 15:13 by sunsetlover68.

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My daughter says she is having a problem with love, she is a amazing person, but keeps finding these losers

Nov 08, 2009 16:34 by sunsetlover68

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There is not much you can do about that to be honest. You have to let her make her own mistakes. That is the only way she will learn from them.

Nov 08, 2009 16:53 by rebecaca.
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I agree with @rebecaca. Unless you think she may actually be in danger, stay out of the way and only offer opinions if directly asked.
An underlying issue may be her self-esteem? I don't know how old she is, but it could just be something that comes with age, or success in work/education/other. Not to mention having a supportive, loving mother!

Nov 08, 2009 17:32 by merendis.

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We have a mouse in our house eating our stuff. My cat is too lazy to catch it for me lol. I don't want to use poison or the spring traps... any suggestions on what works best?

Nov 08, 2009 16:31 by lilbitsane

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Please refer your mouse to tomorrow's mission!

Nov 08, 2009 16:32 by kellydna.
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@kellydna: LOL I didn't see that. I just heard him squeaking and my cat snoring next to me and thought I'd post about it lol.

Nov 08, 2009 16:34 by lilbitsane.
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I hate to say this, but the spring traps are what work. (see: http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=311)

Merendis' Family Story- We had mouse problems for years. Epic mouse problems. Mice-running-across-your-head-while-you're-sleeping problems. For a few years we used glue traps which my father would take a few miles away and empty. He even got bitten once or twice. We were good people. But it just didn't work. Sure we caught some, but we were also scared out of our minds when horrific half-mouse half-glue-trap creatures darted across the floor and disappeared. One day, even my dear, sweet, caring, vegetarian mother decided "screw it" and we bought a bunch of the good 'ol spring type. All through the night were the snaps of success.
It will be a long winter. If you really want it gone... the spring trap is the way to go.

(btw, good call on the no poison. they crawl into the walls and die, which may be worse than some food theft)

Nov 08, 2009 17:02 by merendis.
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you could also borrow a cat that is not lazy... we did... bye bye mouses

Nov 09, 2009 00:31 by coco-tidan.
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Spring traps kill them instantly.

Nov 09, 2009 04:06 by passepartout.
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I've used the humane traps a couple times and they worked. They are a little more expensive than the ones that kill. I just put a cracker with some peanut butter inside, and when the mouse was caught, I took it out to the woods and set it free.

Nov 10, 2009 18:06 by jennabear.

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Does anyone have any suggestions on how to quiet the mind and be able to fall asleep? I have the worst trouble trying to fall asleep. Even to just go to bed. (being sleep is great, trying to get there is hell!)

Nov 08, 2009 13:50 by stephie

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Sub-lingual Melatonin worked well for me, it works fairly fast.
Valerian Root is good at quieting the mind, it has a pungent smell though. Take it an hour before going to bed. Just be sure you allow for 8 hours sleep in both cases.

Nov 08, 2009 14:02 by strawman.
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When I had this problem, my doctor told me to do this: Start from the top of your head and focus on each muscle individually. Tense your face, and relax it. Tense your neck and relax it...and so on and so forth moving all the way down to your toes. It worked great for me.

Nov 08, 2009 14:05 by notanotherskye.
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@strawman: valerian worked for me... you can buy tea bags that work well.
@notanotherskye: i have done that as well and it works... it is often how people start the process of getting into a meditative state.

Nov 08, 2009 14:31 by coco-tidan.
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I write down everything I'm thinking about and then tell myself to deal with those things tomorrow.

Nov 08, 2009 15:42 by jon_wizzle.
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i have the same problem. i plug in the ipod and listen to "this american life" or "radio lab" and it puts me to sleep. hearing other people's voices in my head is better than hearing my own. :)

Nov 08, 2009 16:13 by saxchik.
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If I could help you, and if that muscle-relaxing trick had helped me, I wouldn't be up right now to not answer..

Nov 08, 2009 17:04 by merendis.
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@merendis: Yes, I was thinking that you're up pretty late :P

Nov 08, 2009 17:26 by kellydna.
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@kellydna: Well, at this point I have to be! I mean, what if someone posts an answer here that solves my problem ;)

Nov 08, 2009 17:29 by merendis.
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I appreciate the suggestions. I already take melatonin nightly and wonder if there's a rebound effect because of it, or maybe one can become immune to it. Maybe I need to try some of the other suggestions too. Thanks.

Nov 08, 2009 17:30 by stephie.
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Also, don't spend any time where you sleep, prior to sleeping (i.e. reading in bed). And I agree that listening to talk radio helps.

Nov 08, 2009 17:39 by athanie.
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I won't take any drugs for sleeping, so I have found some things that work for me that you can try. I find if I read a book, even a crappy book, until I am either bored or dozing off I can fall asleep more easily. I also write stories in my mind which gives me something interesting to think about and focus on to calm my mind as I fall asleep. I go back to the same ones day after day and develop the stories over time, but I'm a writer so that really works for me. If I'm really distracted with all the crazy things that went on in the day or will go on the next, I write a list of everything I can think of right before bed. I have been known to get back up and write more things on my list if I think of some extra ones after I turn off the light. My husband always goes to sleep with the TV on sportscenter- that's his equivalent of the talk radio method.

Nov 08, 2009 22:10 by nonlinear_time.
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Aw man, I could really use some good help with this myself.

Nov 09, 2009 03:27 by chaomancer.
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Read something really boring before going to bed for at least 20 minutes. If you wake up, get out of bed and find soemthing boring to read for a while.

Nov 09, 2009 04:06 by passepartout.
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Make yourself reaaally tired during the day so you fall asleep instantly cause you're just so tired?

Someone once said that some doctors adviced to sleep in a room that has nothing there to distract you (such as a tv, computer, book). And if you're in bed for 15 minutes and you haven't been able to fall asleep, get up and go and do something else, and try again after another 15 minutes or so. I don't know if this'll help but I've heard about it ^^"

Nov 09, 2009 04:58 by mithredat.
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sex

Nov 09, 2009 13:20 by redd141.
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Read, or sing, or play Nintendo DS. Works for me.

Nov 13, 2009 21:57 by faith.

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I have a giant black mark across a white wall in my apartment - we made it when moving something in. The walls are painted with a flat paint - we've tried using a rag and some water, but the smudge just gets bigger. The landlord's willing to let us paint, but I don't want to paint a whole room for one smudge - and he no longer has the paint he used the first time. Any thoughts?

Nov 08, 2009 13:40 by mandy716

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Take a chip of paint from the wall to the paint store & have it matched. Be sure they use a computerized system rather than just eyeballing it. Use one or two coats of sealer over the mark or it will just bleed through. Ask at the paint store if they have something that will remove the mark, letting them know what kind of material made the mark. Good luck.

Nov 08, 2009 13:53 by strawman.
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have you tried a magic eraser?

Nov 08, 2009 13:53 by dean72.
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@dean72: I second this.

Nov 08, 2009 14:06 by notanotherskye.
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@dean72: Thrid

Nov 08, 2009 15:43 by jon_wizzle.
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Magic eraser all the way! Used them in my apartment with the flat paint and the smudges came off wonderfully!

Nov 08, 2009 16:28 by lilbitsane.
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Magic eraser.

Nov 08, 2009 16:32 by lisette.
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go get a white pad called mr clean erasure... That thing works on what your wanting it to and they cost like 2 bucks at walmart and it comes with 6 in the box..

Nov 08, 2009 16:35 by sunsetlover68.
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Wow - apparently I have been missing out! Of course there would be a product for this. Thank you, thank you!

Nov 08, 2009 17:51 by mandy716.

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runaway friend has gone into the hills with no phone, money, warm clothes, or food, we don't quite know where... should we look for her or respect her wishes

Nov 08, 2009 12:50 by coco-tidan

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It could, potentially, be attention seeking?

Nov 08, 2009 13:22 by rabbitdan.
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I would look for her, if only to make sure she is safe. If she doesn't want to be found, she won't be.

Nov 08, 2009 14:06 by notanotherskye.
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That is such a difficult question, but I agree with notanotherskye.

Nov 08, 2009 14:16 by strawman.
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@rabbitdan: most certainly
@notanotherskye: good point, i think we will, its what comes after that which worries me, she has done it before and will almost certainly do it again. she wont get help and some of the people who have helped her in the past are loosing their patience (myself included)
i regret posting this, it kind of makes me feel guilty...

Nov 08, 2009 14:28 by coco-tidan.
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I agree with those above. If your friend was able to take care of herself, I'd support the idea of letting her do what she feels she's got to do. Some just need to do that sort of thing. But if it's attention-seeking and potentially unsafe, that's another ballgame. When you find her/when she comes back, you ought to let her know what she's doing to her friends, not to give her a guilt trip necessarily, but to let her know that she needs to get past these displays.

Nov 08, 2009 16:57 by athanie.

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I'm trying to figure out the purpose of my existence when I believe that life is completely meaningless and in a few hundred years, no one will even know I existed.

Nov 08, 2009 12:32 by mona

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That makes two of us. :[

Nov 08, 2009 12:42 by jvanalstyne.
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three

Nov 08, 2009 12:51 by coco-tidan.
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Find a way to leave a positive mark?

Nov 08, 2009 13:04 by bnitro.
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Maybe you're barking up the wrong tree. Here and now has meaning. Looking for the meaning of life is absurd because you don't have all the facts at your disposal and never will. In spite of all this, life is often remarkably beautiful. If you can be part of furthering that for yourself and others that will have a meaning too. Thinking long term depends a lot on your point of view. But that is a whole big question. Mind you, it was to start with.

Nov 08, 2009 13:15 by rabbitdan.
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The purpose of your life is to make something of yourself. Life is only meaningless if you let it be so.

Nov 08, 2009 13:29 by strawman.
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Alternatively rock on to this:
Carl Sagan - 'A Glorious Dawn' ft Stephen Hawking (Cosmos Remixed)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc

Nov 08, 2009 13:44 by rabbitdan.
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May I make a suggestion? Have you thought of putting your life into written words so that those who come after can read about you? I can guarantee that your progeny will be interested in what your life is like.

Nov 08, 2009 14:11 by strawman.
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i think the greatest consolation for me has been that i am not alone in how i view the world and that to find someone who is not 'lost' is very rare indeed.
we are all in someway searching, some people get lucky and find what works to help them make sense of everything, be that through spirituality, science or just the acceptance that they may never fully understand life.
i believe that it is this search that is the crux of the human condition.
leaving something behind is the common answer... your family carry your name and blood often your ideals and traits, your friends and the people you interact with may take a piece of you too as we continue to influence everything and everyone around us be that positively or negatively.
nothing is static
we try see and feel the beauty all around us and find the little moments of perfection, the inconsistencies, the changes, the simple things that can make us happy.

take solace from the fact that there are almost 7 billion souls on the planet and a huge number of them are searching with you.

i recommend exploring the work of those that came before us, explore what you have access too... read, expand your horizon, do something new.
if you find something let me know :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_condition

Nov 08, 2009 14:21 by coco-tidan.
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@strawman: its true... we all have something to add, a relevance that enriches life

Nov 08, 2009 14:39 by coco-tidan.
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@rabbitdan: @coco-tidan: well said!!!

Nov 08, 2009 17:00 by athanie.
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Have you ever been to a symphonic performance? Look at the second violins. They rarely have the melody, yet they are essential to the richness of the sound. A good conductor can tell when one if off-key or missing. The audience can tell if one stops playing.

My point? YOU can't see the meaning of your life at the moment, but there are others who do. Everyone contributes in the world's symphony.

Nov 09, 2009 10:27 by passepartout.
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thinking like this will drive you mad. Live in the now.

Nov 09, 2009 13:20 by redd141.
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Focusing on serving others really helps with that.

Nov 13, 2009 21:59 by faith.

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For some reason, I cannot find the type of friends you know you can count on. I always get stuck with either: people who act like they are doing you a favor by being your friend, or simple acquaintances and nothing more.

Nov 08, 2009 12:22 by bnitro

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where are you looking?
have you tried joining clubs or anything like that?

Nov 08, 2009 14:33 by coco-tidan.
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Do not look, my friend, and you will see how people start gravitating towards you. You might be spending too much time looking. Do not focus on the search, but on the world around you.
Good luck!

Nov 08, 2009 20:09 by leopicado.

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I'm the treasurer for a club. I prepared the tax-exempt forms like every other year and got confirmation of acceptance from the IRS. Received this nasty letter from the bank saying account numbers don't match. Called bank they say call IRS. Called IRS, they say call bank. Went back in records to 1984 and numbers have always been the same. Who do I call next? Ghostbusters?

Nov 08, 2009 12:15 by njwalter

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Wow, that sucks. :/ Since the bank is the one reporting the problem, I'd push them to help you solve the problem rather than the IRS.

Nov 08, 2009 12:19 by jvanalstyne.
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Fax/email both the records that you have.

Nov 08, 2009 12:24 by bnitro.
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Thanks. I plan to go in to both places in person tomorrow and won't leave until I have the answer. Over the phone they just blew me off and passed the buck.

Nov 08, 2009 20:16 by njwalter.
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If the bank claims numbers don't match, have them prove/explain it to you. If number have always been the same, they should show you why the numbers are suddenly wrong.

Nov 09, 2009 03:31 by chaomancer.
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Tax accountants are worth every penny you can pay them. They have access to special IRS phone lines and other gov't resources.

Nov 09, 2009 04:04 by passepartout.
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All is solved! Bank has wrong number and it's been wrong for 26 years. Just now caught it and confused this new treasurer. Thanks for everyone's suggestions.

Nov 09, 2009 09:26 by njwalter.

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I gained 20 pounds in the past 2 years. I want to take it off. I'm addicted to cheese and I get chronic shin splints so I have a hard time running. For the love of God help.

Nov 08, 2009 11:35 by discomeg2

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Keep the cheese closer and try walking to it. LOL

Nov 08, 2009 12:06 by jdproductions.
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I've gained 30 pounds in the last 2 months! :[
We should work out together. xD
Cheese isn't always a bad thing. In fact, for many people it's good. You might try yoga or bike-riding. Just look up aerobic sports to find something you might like. And to help the fat turn into muscle, maybe some weight training would be good. I've come to learn that it isn't the weight that matters, but the waist size. After all, muscle is denser than fat, so it seems to weigh more. :]

Nov 08, 2009 12:17 by jvanalstyne.
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... Now if only I could learn how to do what I tell others to do... >_>;;

Nov 08, 2009 12:18 by jvanalstyne.
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I lost a lot of weight pretty quickly by going on a relatively spartan diet for a month or two. No treat days, no exceptions. For me the trick was not setting very strict rules, not necessarily meal plans. I based them around what I know does me in.
My rules were- No simple carbohydrates, no red or cured meat, no cow's milk, no yeast, no refined sugar, and no carbs after 6pm. I limited myself to only olive oil in restricted amounts. I used herbamere instead of salt.
It was pretty damn tough, and I required a whole lot of gin and soda and lemon juice to get me through. It also made me get pretty creative.
As for the exercise... I recommend elliptical machine instead of straight running. Easier on your knees, easier to get started.
Other things that may have helped a bit- I didn't wait until a Monday or until the first of the month or until I'd eaten all of my junk food, I just got really sick of it one day, fasted and started clean the next.
I also bought a pair of jeans that were cute but barely fit and didn't button. Incentive!
Of course this is only what I know worked for me, I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone, but if anything in here helps, I guess it's worth sharing. Good luck!

Nov 08, 2009 12:23 by merendis.
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i eat too much cheese and drink too much beer

swimming is great low impact training or you could buy a rowing machine or cross training machine (running without impact). both of these machines will work most of your muscle groups.
lifting weights is a very good way to loose body fat and if you get the proper advice (combine weights with aerobic exercise) it is not about getting really muscular... just about loosing some extra baggage and toning up...

i lifted weights for about 2 years until a shoulder injury stopped me.
we picked up a cross trainer today and dusted off the bench... now all i need is a little will power

Nov 08, 2009 12:30 by coco-tidan.
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Try keeping a food journal for a week - write down everything you eat and drink. This will give you an idea of how many calories you're consuming. Then, begin to taper. There's no reason to give up cheese IF you make up for it in another way. For example, maybe you eat cheese, but you skip the bread with dinner...

And exercise is key too - I agree with @merendis... try the elliptical. It's easy on the body, and a great way to burn calories fast.

Nov 08, 2009 13:32 by mandy716.
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@merendis: yeah, that's the thing that is really inspiring me, my clothes don't fit.

Nov 08, 2009 13:38 by discomeg2.
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@coco-tidan: Same problem. I like to drink and always have, I know there are a lot of calories in it. I started working at home which I think is a big factor. I used to swim, but now have no access to a pool.

Nov 08, 2009 13:39 by discomeg2.
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@discomeg2: i work from home a lot of the time as well... it doesn't help.
@merendis: what is an elliptical machine? it like a cross trainer (a demented running machine with ski poles)

Nov 08, 2009 15:10 by coco-tidan.
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I did the same, gained 20 pounds in about 2 months (I went on a crazy cooking spree, lol). Then I embraced raw foods and lost it all plus a few more pounds in roughly the same amount of time. I LOVE the raw food "diet" - more way of life now. I'm not 100% raw, since I still cook for the rest of the family, so I try to stick to raw all day until dinner and then don't go crazy with the portions. I also drink a lot of fresh veggie juice, which is pretty filling. Anyway, that's what worked for me. I lost the weight, gained tons of energy, my skin is better, my back pain is gone and I sleep better at night. Good luck to you!

Nov 08, 2009 15:51 by jenaissance.
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Also, I've heard that not eating starches and carbs with meat during meals is good. Sandwiches are a really horrible combination in this aspect.

Leave out the fast food (if you eat it).

High fructose corn syrup is really bad--keep this and soda out of your diet and that should help a lot too.

Don't eat white bread too (have heard that your body considers this the same as a candy bar, chemically).

Nov 08, 2009 17:09 by athanie.
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@discomeg2: I think a huge problem in many many many unsuccessful diet attempts by myself and those close to me is the focus on calories. I guess it's better than on grams of fat (I had sooo much deliciously fatty avocado and goat cheese on my successful diet) which used to be the craze. But on a calorie diet, you trick yourself into really unhealthy things ("Oh! I can afford this bag of cheetos if I just eat carrot sticks the rest of the day...")
Like @jenaissance, I think focusing on healthy, organic and I guess sometimes raw food will... oh I'm going to sound like Gwyneth Paltrow, sorry... "cleanse your system" and after you lose some weight you can ease up, reintroduce delicious delicious bread or whatnot. But going through that phase is an amazing experience for your body, and you discover all sorts of new nifty foods through necessity!

Nov 08, 2009 17:12 by merendis.
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@coco-tidan: Yes... they don't all have ski poles, but they do have little foot-beds-on-skis-things that move in an *elliptical* (get it?!) orbit, or motion or whatever word fits here... They're awesome machines. I know swimming is a good form of exercise, but it's also cruel. Especially when the goal is weigh loss. It's hard enough to brave the swimming suit, but when you're fighting a few extra pounds? Just mean.

Nov 08, 2009 17:19 by merendis.
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For a workout, I've been going to Curves for the last eight months. I haven't lost weight (my own fault with the eating) but I am much more toned and what there is is gradually redistributing in a more pleasing way.
For losing pounds and feeling better, I turn to South Beach. In a nutshell, eat lots of veggies and salad, cheese and eggs, moderate portions of meat. Small portions of whole grains. Avoid the white versions of things (flour, sugar, rice). Red wine is permitted. Potatoes and beer are the devil. I am unwilling to give up beer, but I basically follow the philosophy. In fact, I ought to have a couple of weeks of diligence myself …
I'm not a fan of calorie counting, but the food journal is a good idea—you'd be surprised.

Nov 08, 2009 17:37 by kellydna.
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YOGA!!!!! =o)

Nov 08, 2009 20:09 by leopicado.
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Not what you want to hear, but I doubt you can take it off and keep it off. I don't know of anyone who has permanently lost that much weight. You body has a 'fat memory.' That is, it wants to keep that extra weight and will flush you with extra hormones to make it come back. Oh, and there is this thing called 'age.' No matter what your metabolism was, it WILL slow, no matter how much exercise and dieting you do.

A better strategy if to avoid gaining any more. ALl the above tips are good ones. Personally, I try not to deny myself any kind of food, I just reduce the portion sizes. It is a good idea to avoid fake foods (high-fructose corn syrup, palm oil, partially hydrogneated fats) because they cause other problems later in life.

Nov 09, 2009 04:02 by passepartout.
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I have lost about 9 kilo in about 4 months with a non-carbohydrates diet. The things I eat are vegetables (with a few exceptions), fruits (with a few exceptions) and low-fat dairy products. I do this diet for 3 weeks, then I eat normally for 1 week (because your body has gotten used to the non-carb food) and then I start again. Been doing this diet with my mom and now my sister in law, and it's been easy to maintain. You can simply eat as much of the aforementioned kind of foods, so you're not really hungry cause you can just eat... 10 apples if you like 8D

My aunt has followed this diet and after she stopped it, she has maintained her weight.

And you can have cheese, just low fat (like 20+) kinds of cheese, not the fat kinds ^^

Nov 09, 2009 05:02 by mithredat.
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@passepartout: I know many people who have. I'm only 27 too.

Nov 09, 2009 05:38 by discomeg2.

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These yellow things keep falling off my trees... they're everywhere!
Happens every year about this time. What should I do?

Nov 08, 2009 11:21 by jdproductions

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cut all the trees down
lay concrete
problem
solved

Nov 08, 2009 11:28 by coco-tidan.
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I really start getting tired of all that green crap about this time of year. The wind usually blows the yellow stuff into the neighbors yard anyway. Then there's the white stuff, but at least we can play in that.

Nov 08, 2009 11:34 by strawman.
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@ coco-tidan: I like your thought process, ever think of running for a political office?

Nov 08, 2009 11:36 by strawman.
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@strawman: YOU get that white stuff, too? What's up with that...

Nov 08, 2009 11:50 by jdproductions.
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@coco-tidan: Tried that at the last house, but couldn't get rid of the kids with their skateboards...

Nov 08, 2009 11:52 by jdproductions.
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BURN IT WITH FIREEEEE! D'x

Nov 08, 2009 12:13 by jvanalstyne.
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@strawman: i will be ruler of the universe one day... when that day comes leaves will still change color and fall from trees but dissolve before they hit the ground. (i spent too much time as a kid kicking piles of leaves only to find dog cr@p underneath)

@jdproductions: gravel

Nov 08, 2009 12:32 by coco-tidan.
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@jvanalstyne: Been there, done that. All my plastic lawn ornaments melted.

Nov 08, 2009 13:02 by jdproductions.
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@coco-tidan: Gravel sounds good but, won't that damage the lawnmower?

Nov 08, 2009 13:07 by jdproductions.
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Mow, mulch, leave (npi) them be to make your lawn better in the spring.

Nov 08, 2009 13:48 by stephie.
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I let the yard maintenance guys take care of it! of course, I live in a condo... :P

Nov 08, 2009 15:52 by jenaissance.
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hire someone else to do the job. my husband insists that leaf raking is one of the circles of hell.

Nov 08, 2009 16:16 by saxchik.
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Give a neighboring teenager $10 and let them have at it!

Nov 08, 2009 17:11 by athanie.
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move to Arizona.

Nov 08, 2009 17:20 by merendis.
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@merendis: Agreed.

Move to the city, even though it did not work for me. =o0

Nov 08, 2009 20:11 by leopicado.
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Super glue! You'll have to start next summer though.

Nov 09, 2009 03:33 by chaomancer.
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Mow your leaves, don't rake them.

Nov 09, 2009 03:56 by passepartout.

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Well, besides the life long depression & Autism.........
There is this kid, about 11, down the street who likes to tramples on our plants on his way home from school. Besides telling him that it's a dumb thing to do I need to get a picture & take it to his parents & hope that works. Dunno...........

Nov 08, 2009 10:59 by strawman

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@coco-tidan: Green concrete, yeah, that would work.

Nov 08, 2009 11:30 by strawman.
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That sounds like a good idea, but make sure you don't go accusing the kid. Just have a nice visit with his parents, and be like, "Oh, sorry to bring it up, but I wanted to show you something..." Come to them as friends, then they'll be more happy to punish the kid! :]

Nov 08, 2009 12:13 by jvanalstyne.
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A friend had a problem like this only it was a woman walking her dog that would do his business on her lawn every day and wouldn't pick up after it. I told her to set her automatic lawn sprinklers to turn on during that time of day. Worked!!

Nov 08, 2009 13:17 by lmnewman.
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@jvanalstyne: Yes, I'm thinking that's the best way to go. Sounds common sense I know, but sometimes emotions can drown out common sense. Thanks......

Nov 08, 2009 13:41 by strawman.
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@lmnewman: Actually tried that last week, didn't work. The kid was out there dancing around in the sprinklers. ???

Nov 08, 2009 13:45 by strawman.
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Do you have pets? If so, gather some poo and put it in the plants. After stepping in it once or twice he may think again. (of course this is a nasty solution, but sometimes you get desperate enough). Alternatives to use are basically anything that smells or stains (coffee grounds, old grease, little containers of paint nicely concealed). Of course you might face a lawsuit about this if it damages the kids' clothes.

Nov 09, 2009 03:36 by chaomancer.
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This happened to us in our first house. Kids would cut through our yard, walking right by our bedroom window on the way to school. Talking made little difference. Then I planted some nice, thorny rugosa roses where they walked.

Problem solved.

But your problem will solve itself over time. If can wait him out, he will grow up or move into a new behavior,

Nov 09, 2009 10:33 by passepartout.

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I call myself lazy, but I don't know if that's entirely accurate. I have difficulty motivating myself to start on something. But once I get going, I am able to achieve. What do you do to inspire yourself to accomplish?

Nov 08, 2009 09:54 by kellydna

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Whatever it is, I usually guilt myself into it. Or keep thinking about it (essentially harassing myself) until I do it. Not a fun way to motivate but that's just how it is for me.

Nov 08, 2009 10:24 by stephie.
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You're casting yourself as a potato eating potato chips? You need to diversify your diet.
PS - Sorry no advice from me here

Nov 08, 2009 10:27 by rabbitdan.
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@rabbitdan: Hey, it's what I could come up with legally and without too much effort :) For the record, I do love potato chips.

Nov 08, 2009 10:38 by kellydna.
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@stephie: It kind of works opposite for me. If I'm not doing one thing I should be, then I don't do anything because I feel guilty for not doing the first thing and like I shouldn't do anything else until I do get that first thing done, so quite often absolutely nothing gets done. The brain is a funny thing.

Nov 08, 2009 10:40 by kellydna.
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If you find the answer please let me know. LOL
I drink a Coca Cola to muster up some mental energy, which usually helps.
Pretty common problem though.

Nov 08, 2009 11:13 by strawman.
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Procrastination Central here. I've read it's actually a problem with perfectionism. We don't start stuff because we expect the results to be perfect. One of the usual suggestions is to set a timer and allot a certain about of time to work on (fill in the blank) whether you finish it or not.

Nov 08, 2009 13:31 by lmnewman.
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@lmnewman: i'm a perfectionist sounds a lot better than i'm lazy

Nov 08, 2009 15:47 by coco-tidan.
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I need external motivation, personally. I doubt it's healthy, but it's all I've found to work for me. Tell enough people (perhaps... us?) who will pester you that you've started something, and then they (we?) will badger you into getting it done!

Aaaah, nothing like true personal growth...

Nov 08, 2009 17:38 by merendis.
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@kellydna - my friend calls that (feeling guilty because you should be doing something) "shoulding" or "musterbating." (Love that!) Her solution is to have one day a week she disallows musterbating - she does whatever it is she wants all day, even if it's to sleep until 4pm and eat cheetos for dinner. Having this day of rest seems to motivate her for the rest of the week. I've tried to make her my example, and I have to say, it does work - as does turning sentences around, like "I want to go to the gym so I can feel good about my body" instead of "I should go to the gym."

Nov 08, 2009 17:58 by mandy716.
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@mandy716: Hmm. Interesting.

Nov 08, 2009 18:02 by kellydna.
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I am a very motivated person, sometimes I forget about things that are important, notice my post. I hate letting myself down. I had some hard times, I want to make it up to my child self I suppose. What do you think you child self would want to be right now?

Nov 08, 2009 19:56 by discomeg2.

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People at school are making fun of me all the time x-x

Nov 08, 2009 09:18 by endroine

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That's terrible. I don't remember there being that much I could do about that at school. I do remember that the people who made fun of other kids were usually pretty stupid though. Not that that helps but it does mean you'll (hopefully) look back on it differently.
And it doesn't last forever. Sorry, that's crap advice isn't it?!

Nov 08, 2009 10:35 by rabbitdan.
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Yeah, I had the same problem. :[ But @rabbitdan is right. What they make up for in bullying, we already have in wit and smarts. ;] As silly as it sounds, I actually had success with positive reinforcement! I would blatantly ignore them, but in order to prevent myself from shutting the whole world out, I would thank people for being nice to me, and also just respond in general when they weren't being mean. They won't know it, but you'll be the one manipulating them! :D

Nov 08, 2009 12:10 by jvanalstyne.
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@coc-tidan offered this as well but it ended up in the post below for some reason:
the thing is that its not crap advice... its good advice.
these people have no true power of you, people talk shit and half the time they will come out of school, look back on what they said and did and feel ashamed (i honestly know quite a few people who feel this way). the only person that has power in this relationship is you.
absorb it or let it bounce off, don't respond with anger or frustration, just get on with your life, the things you want to do.
you get through school and everything changes, you don't have to spend everyday surrounded by idiots. they may well continue to be idiots, all they deserve is indifference and pity...
its difficult but most of us go through it at some point in our lives.
i would also recommend taking up a martial art or a physical sport that is separate from school... not to learn how to hurt people (responding aggressively is a victory for them) but to learn discipline, self control and increase your confidence.

Nov 08, 2009 12:35 by rabbitdan.
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my posts are ending up all over the place... it really irritating

Nov 08, 2009 12:40 by coco-tidan.
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@coco-tidan: When that happened to @kellydna she said it was because she had too many comments open at once. In my experience this is true. I always close comments after looking at them and it stopped happening to me.

Nov 08, 2009 12:49 by rabbitdan.
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How old are you? I got made fun of for having big boobs and being weird. I'm doing very well now and all the people who made fun of me are still living at home. Just ignore it, get your friends and make fun of them back.

Nov 08, 2009 13:41 by discomeg2.
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@discomeg2 i'm 18 o.o but most of them are older than me ¬¬ i dont understand how they can be that childish right? and i dont have friends at school only outside school X_X thanks for all the advice by the way o.o

Nov 08, 2009 14:01 by endroine.
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They will feel bad about it later (as said earlier). It's strange because all the people who messed with me in high school want to be my friends now. Take the higher road (unless you can think of a really witty comeback).

Nov 08, 2009 17:18 by athanie.
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Looking back I realised that people made fun of me probably because I scared them. Being smarter and a girl who towered over everyone, I think I got very defensive and wasn't very nice. For fear that they wouldn't be nice to me.
Consider evaluating your own behaviour very carefully, trying to see yourself as they would. You may be surprised at what you see.
Of course it's also likely that they're just jerks. In which case, what everyone else said- know you're superior (but don't let that knowledge turn you into a jerk as well!)

Nov 08, 2009 17:27 by merendis.
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@endroine: if you are in high school: dont worry it's almost over. If you are in college, either they like you or are jerks, make friends, who cares about them. The only people who do that have personal problems. The best way I've discovered is to (if you are strong enough) and be nice to them. Do them a favor, It will blow their minds.

Nov 08, 2009 20:02 by discomeg2.
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I hate society, so I have nothing good to say. LOL
No, on a serious note: BE PATIENT. FOCUS ON DOING YOUR THING AND DO NOT LET 'EM RUIN YOUR PLANS FOR A FUTURE. I have accomplished everything I set myself to achieve, even when many people said I couldn't do it.

Nov 08, 2009 20:17 by leopicado.

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Too busy/lazy (can't decide) to make a Tweak Today avatar ... ;)

Nov 08, 2009 09:01 by lmnewman

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Why not have a mission to make you one?

Nov 08, 2009 09:28 by rabbitdan.
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@rabbitdan Excellent suggestion! Done!

Nov 08, 2009 09:39 by lmnewman.
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The best kind of outsourcing is that which makes it fun for the person to whom it's outsourced. Works especially well with children, but I don't mind falling for it here. Upvoted!

Nov 08, 2009 09:47 by merendis.

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Can't find a job. FML :o

Nov 08, 2009 08:48 by soarkaios

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what kind of job are you looking for?

Nov 08, 2009 09:34 by saxchik.
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have you been looking?

Nov 08, 2009 11:32 by coco-tidan.
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Any job. I need to pay for my rent and apartment bills, lol :o.
Yes, I've been looking a little ;o.
Gonna go look again this week :(

Nov 08, 2009 12:01 by soarkaios.
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Either there's something blatantly wrong with my resume and I don't see it, or despite the massive amount of jobs available, nobody wants to hire.

Nov 08, 2009 12:06 by jvanalstyne.
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@jvanalstyne: I'm 19, and live in a pretty small town and have no car yet. So my choices are limited to walking distance places, lol.

Nov 08, 2009 12:16 by soarkaios.
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@soarkaios: That's always problem, too. :/ Yeah, us 19 year-olds need to band together and make a union or something. We need money, too! Dx

Nov 08, 2009 12:21 by jvanalstyne.
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Small town? That ruins my idea... I was going to suggest you become a dog-walker. There is some good money to make there...

Nov 08, 2009 20:21 by leopicado.
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Same problem here... Been trying for over a year but with the economy being crap there's almost no one hiring anyone, plus lots of people lost their jobs so with me, there are like, a whole bunch of other people that have a shitload of experience and they rather hire one of those it seems :(

Keep on trying! Maybe something online that doesn't require you to be anywhere else?

Nov 09, 2009 05:05 by mithredat.
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You are very good with computer things, yes? How about developing an on-line service and advertising it. You don't need a car for that.

Nov 09, 2009 10:35 by passepartout.

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DIY - I'm rubbish at it!
The paint in my bathroom is flaking off. Its a rented flat so I need to repair it. Any advice?

Nov 08, 2009 08:10 by finalarena

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Invite your friends over to help you out (will be a good motivator to get it done). Offer them dinner/drinks in return. : )

Nov 08, 2009 08:25 by athanie.
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@athanie: smart idea! Everything's more fun with lots of people and pizza!

Otherwise, just take your time, and do it right i.e.- remove the fixtures, don't try to paint around them; tape off everything you can't remove; scrape, wash, sand and prime the walls especially in the bathroom with all that humidity and penchant for dirtiness.

Nov 08, 2009 08:35 by merendis.
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thanks....I'm a bit nervous of my Landlord coming and taking a look and saying "that's not the same shade of white" but as long as its done well I suppose its ok. How to do it though? Sand first? undercoat? No idea if a bathroom needs special care...

Nov 08, 2009 08:37 by finalarena.
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if you need to repaint, make sure you sand down the whole room first and get rid of the flaking paint. make sure if you repaint to use a gloss or semi-gloss finish. it works better with the humidity of a bathroom.

Nov 08, 2009 08:44 by saxchik.
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you can buy matt paints that are damp proof and anit-fungi these days they are expensive but necessary in bathrooms.

Nov 08, 2009 09:14 by coco-tidan.
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Also, it is important to have an undercoat after you've thoroughly sanded the walls. Primers (as they're called here in the US, don't know about the UK) are good to help the paint adhere to the surface and get a better coat of color, or white which it appears to be in this case, but also make sure it's a sealer. That should help prevent any flaking.

Nov 08, 2009 12:04 by jvanalstyne.
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thanks ;-)

Nov 08, 2009 15:25 by finalarena.

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Work life balance. I don't have it. I need to find it. I doubt there's that much anyone can say here.

Nov 08, 2009 08:05 by rabbitdan

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I've never been able to balance both--one always has the upper hand. But the dominant one changes back and forth every couple of weeks for me--maybe balance is achieved that way?

Nov 08, 2009 08:12 by athanie.
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@athanie: I would reply to your comment but I have too much work on ;)

Nov 08, 2009 08:18 by rabbitdan.
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take a break...

Nov 08, 2009 09:14 by coco-tidan.
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@coco-tidan: Sadly I'm out of KitKats

Nov 08, 2009 09:25 by rabbitdan.
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take up crown green bowls or something...
move to france with me and lib...
get a 9-5!

Nov 08, 2009 15:06 by coco-tidan.
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don't get a 9-5... that was a bad idea

Nov 08, 2009 15:06 by coco-tidan.
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@athanie: It sounds like you do have a pretty good balance overall. That would suit me quite well. It's not on the horizon for me though, sadly. But hey, I'm learning a lot, which is good.

Nov 08, 2009 15:22 by rabbitdan.
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@coco-tidan: No, I don't think I'll be getting a 9-5. Beyond that, dunno.

Nov 08, 2009 15:27 by rabbitdan.
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@rabbitdan: its 1am on a sunday and i'm still working... why am i skint?

Nov 08, 2009 15:50 by coco-tidan.

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... at work, and sometimes I have a hard time hiding my annoyance and impatience with them. Some days I'm just so sick of all the 'tudes you know? Need a way to be zen and stop caring. How?

Nov 08, 2009 07:37 by stephie

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New job.

Nov 08, 2009 07:39 by soarkaios.
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Focus on the positives, ignore,to the best of your abilities, the negatives.

Nov 08, 2009 12:16 by bnitro.
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@bnitro - That's what I try to do. Well, really I try to just block it out or think of something else, distract myself. whatever gets me through the day.

Nov 08, 2009 13:53 by stephie.

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Today, Obama's healthcare plan passed the House. I just don't know what to do. When this healthcare becomes real, Is it going to be like Canada's? Will I have to wait weeks to see a Doctor? Thoughts?

*from reading comments*
So, the media has been lying to me? I have read that people from Canada have had to wait weeks to see a doctor, so they go to Buffalo, NY, and get seen there. This is not the case? Thoroughly confused.

Nov 08, 2009 07:03 by bschhh

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Since when do Canadians have to wait weeks to see a doctor?

Nov 08, 2009 07:15 by rebecaca.
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Weeks :|?
You nuts?

Nov 08, 2009 07:18 by soarkaios.
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@soarkaios: He has clearly been misinformed lol

Nov 08, 2009 07:20 by rebecaca.
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Would love to have Canada's healthcare system!!

Nov 08, 2009 07:22 by athanie.
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But I understand you. Why would you want universal health care? I'd rather see the people who can't afford to see a doctor die!

Nov 08, 2009 07:23 by soarkaios.
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@soarkaios: Word.

Nov 08, 2009 07:28 by rebecaca.
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You've been absolutely misinformed. Yes there are some problems with waits in Canada... kind of like in the United States. As far as I can tell, the level of care is no different, except more people get it and they don't go broke doing so.
My Canadian Studies prof (who is an expert in healthcare, frequently interviewed on the news) would often say that Healthcare is something that Canadians love to gripe about collectively, but the vast majority of people have positive experiences with it. Maybe the griping has changed now that Americans are so keen to attack it.

Nov 08, 2009 07:33 by merendis.
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@soarkaios: Quite.

Nov 08, 2009 08:03 by rabbitdan.
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The difference between America and other industrialized countries is that the latter considers healthcare a right. Canada’s healthcare isn’t perfect, but Canada's Health Act is just 13 pages (much more concise than the reforms Congress is trying to bring through) and manages to cover everybody. America's deal is over a thousand pages but still doesn't cover everybody. I don't know what the best healthcare system is, though. (Maybe France?)

I’ve heard though that if Congress' reforms pass, not much will be changed compared to what we have today. The reforms still favor pharmaceutical and private insurance companies over the average American citizen.

Nov 08, 2009 08:04 by athanie.
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@rabbitdan: Huh ;o?

Nov 08, 2009 08:08 by soarkaios.
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@soarkaios: Sorry, I think I put that in quite an English way. I meant "Couldn't have put it better myself".

Nov 08, 2009 08:10 by rabbitdan.
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@bschhh: The media is always lying to you! It's all run by advertising money and what sells.

Nov 08, 2009 08:16 by rabbitdan.
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@rabbitdan: Oh, haha. I was confused :P

Nov 08, 2009 08:47 by soarkaios.
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number one in the world according to the WHO is canada followed by france... the problem with france is that it looses 11-20 billion euros every year...
its good but expensive...
in my opinion it is worth every penny

Nov 08, 2009 09:05 by coco-tidan.
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If the US health system is heading towards the likes of Canada, I'm pleased. What I'm not pleased with is the fact that our version is literally over 1,000 pages, when theirs is 13. If we want to be more like them... why not let the document be as short, too? There must be BILLIONS of loopholes written into this thing...

Nov 08, 2009 12:00 by jvanalstyne.
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FROM MY GEEK SIDE: the US government is alot like Microsoft, big, confusing and messy. Canada is like Appple. neat and clean.

Nov 08, 2009 13:05 by bschhh.
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@bschhh: Win.

Nov 08, 2009 17:59 by jvanalstyne.
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The problem isn't universal health care -- it's American's fear of another mismanaged government program. The other biggies, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid... are fiscal disasters. All are in serious debt, kicking the funding can down the road for future generations to fix.

I am at the other end of the career spectrum from most of you here. I am considering retirement. I am very troubled by the odd things the President and Congress are putting forward, especially now when so many people are out of work and personal wealth is at a deepest ebb. I have been saving for self-support in my later years. I do not want to pay extra taxes and get less in return.

The process is far from over. The US House barely passed this. The Senate will not. And with angry and fearful voters, it may never be done.

Nov 09, 2009 03:54 by passepartout.

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I like this girl but she just wants to stay friends. I helped her through her breakup which happen over 6 weeks ago. She has asked me that's all she wants at the moment. She a hard worker as a student as doesn't have much time for socializing. I still want to ask her out. What should I do

Nov 08, 2009 06:20 by sting160675

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You should give her some time. Break ups are hard.

Nov 08, 2009 07:11 by rebecaca.
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How much time?

Nov 08, 2009 07:12 by sting160675.
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@sting160675: Well... how long was she with this man?

Nov 08, 2009 07:17 by rebecaca.
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This is very important- DON'T LET HER USE YOU. If her boyfriend dumped her, she may just be wanting attention from someone she knows fancies her. It's not necessarily true, in fact I hope it isn't, but you really ought to watch out, and don't end up in this situation: http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it

So I guess in the meantime, be there for her, but not enough to let her get dependent on you. Get out there and see other options- she'll be able to tell if you're waiting around just for her.

Nov 08, 2009 07:46 by merendis.
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I think both @rebecaca and @merendis make good points.

Nov 08, 2009 07:55 by rabbitdan.
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I agree that you should just let it be, give it time. If, & when, she's ready to date you she'll let you know. Be friendly, but don't push it.
In the mean time move on, don't let your emotions tie you down.
Oh yeah, don't get used.

Nov 08, 2009 11:24 by strawman.
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I think she was with this man for about 3 months

Nov 08, 2009 17:05 by sting160675.
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I think her message is clear, you said "she wants to be friends" and "that's all she wants at the moment." She might've said "at the moment"? To me that sounds like she added that in in order not to hurt your feelings, instead of saying "I don't want a relationship with you, never".

But well, that's just how I interpret it. I'm female btw 8D

Nov 09, 2009 05:12 by mithredat.

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I have a 5 year old full of attitude and a 2 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old both going thru their "terrible two's". I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so I spend pretty much EVERY waking hour with them. I don't need help, I just need a vacation! :)

Nov 08, 2009 06:15 by jenaissance

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LOL!

Nov 08, 2009 07:04 by bschhh.
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Rock on! Also, the picture of them is very cute.

Nov 08, 2009 07:20 by athanie.
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That's about the distance between me and my siblings... DO they gang up on each other? When we were little, my sister (the oldest) would look at her daily vitamin and say that it told her whose side she was to be on that day, and the rest of the day, if there was any conflict, the vitamin's prophecy would be fulfilled... kids can be manipulative little jerks!

Nov 08, 2009 07:49 by merendis.
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CUTE picture! Psychologists say that when parents are friendlier with their children and have better relationships with them, the children will be a lot less likely to resort to early sex, drugs, etc. later in life. With adorable smiles like those, however, it definitely looks like you're doing an amazing job! ^_^

Nov 08, 2009 11:53 by jvanalstyne.
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@merendis they definitely gang up on each other! and Melody (the youngest) is the instigator. She beats up on Jacob and Minuet all the time and somehow gets them to fight with each other! They're great fun though :)

Nov 08, 2009 15:54 by jenaissance.
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Super glue!

Nov 09, 2009 03:45 by chaomancer.
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@chaomancer: oh wait, wrong entry ;)

Nov 09, 2009 03:46 by chaomancer.
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I love their pyjama's!!! :D Or are they regular clothing? XD

Nov 09, 2009 05:13 by mithredat.
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you need relief and time to yourself - get a babysitter regularaly and don't be afraid to go off by yourself for a weekend - or longer!

Nov 09, 2009 13:22 by redd141.

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I have a billion projects but cant seem to finish any of them!

Nov 08, 2009 05:33 by amazingaaron

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I always find the only thing that gets a project finished is a deadline. If you're making something art or film based, book an exhibition or film festival or something. Then you have to make it.

Apart from that, first think about what you're doing and why, then prioritise and schedule. When you know what you want it's easier to stick to it.

Nov 08, 2009 06:34 by rabbitdan.
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Try and focus on just one for now :o

Nov 08, 2009 07:12 by rebecaca.
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make a list. most important thing first and filter down. i'm the same way. dont start the next one until you are dont with the first.

Nov 08, 2009 20:07 by discomeg2.
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If you eventually get around top finishing them, then there isn't really a problem?

Nov 09, 2009 03:46 by passepartout.
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Same here, I've found that to-do-lists work a little motivating (great to tick something off!) and make me not forget about things 8D

Nov 09, 2009 05:14 by mithredat.

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My ward needs to learn how to connect behaving responsibly and getting rewards. Her furious stubborn cries of "BUT I WANT IT" anytime she is refused anything, or even when something is physically impossible indicate this. What are some chores or tasks that a 5 1/2 year old can be rewarded for? I'm thinking hanging up her coat and watering plants. She has no pets and dinner isn't really a family affair, so there's no table to be set. Any ideas?

Nov 08, 2009 04:20 by merendis

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I presume her room is tidy? PS - I'll rephotograph the sheet of paper with the woman from Berge Karmel on today and see if I can't find a little of what it's about. Otherwise, a friend of mine speaks German. Maybe she'll be able to help.

Nov 08, 2009 05:02 by rabbitdan.
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My son is 5, he helps with cleaning the floors (he loves to mop and vacuum, lol), putting laundry away, watering the garden, making his bed, etc.

Nov 08, 2009 05:53 by jenaissance.
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Hmmm am I the only one who doesn't know what a ward is :(?

Nov 08, 2009 07:14 by rebecaca.
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@rebecaca: Mer's ward is the beautiful little girl that it is her job to look after when her parents are at work.

Merbear, I used to get rewarded for learning Greek songs when I was her age and singing them for my parents/grandparents.

Nov 08, 2009 07:29 by a_noob.
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@rebecaca: it's a joking term, I also occasionally use "charge" or "the child" to refer to her.

Nov 08, 2009 07:34 by merendis.
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@a_noob: Jeżik, I got a very odd image in my head from this... that said, it is a good idea. We're working on a little bit of French and the difference between a country and a city, so maybe something with those....

Nov 08, 2009 07:36 by merendis.
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any task that has a defined end point such as completing a drawing, spelling practice, watering the plants is a good one... the difficulty is in not having a child that is dependent on reward. i know a few families who have children that expect treats all the time for almost anything, its a bit weird.

Nov 08, 2009 09:11 by coco-tidan.
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It's important to remember that children imitate, and they are more likely to imitate actions that go unpunished. However, if you choose to punish the child for tantrums, you need to make sure that it is consistent. In my opinion, a better route to take might be the positive reinforcement route, but with a psychological approach. It is said that continuous reinforcement results in a quicker acquisition period to learn something, but partial reinforcement results in what is being learned becoming harder to forget. Try continually reinforcing her to learn to complete more chore-related activities, such as hanging up her coat. As she begins to learn this, start reducing the rewards to only a part of the time she completes the chore. This should take a longer period of time than the continuous reinforcement, but it will benefit in the long run. Also, when she stops getting rewarded, it won't be as harsh of a cut off.

Nov 08, 2009 11:43 by jvanalstyne.
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In the beginning of my long-winded comment, I meant "Also," not "However." But with the imitation aspect, if she's paying attention to you at the time, maybe try making it a point to behave and say things such as "I don't want this," while putting an item in a store, for example, back on the shelf. She might pick up on this and begin imitating you.

Nov 08, 2009 11:50 by jvanalstyne.
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@jvanalstyne: When she throws tantrums I tell her very calmly that's not the appropriate way to act and if she wants some alone time, that's fine, if she wants to talk about it like a big girl, I'm ready when she is. Then I ignore her until she's willing to behave appropriately.
I think reducing rewards will be necessary in time, but I should mention that what I'm working with here is a girl who is not my child. I have never seen her parents refuse her anything. On one occasion her dad was going downtown to work and mentioned when he got back they could go for a walk "to the toystore?" "No, that's too far, but I'll be near the toystore, so I'll buy you something there- what do you want?"
So the problem right now is that she associates rewards with nothing or everything she's doing, which with her parents often seems to be pouting or throwing tantrums.
So at this point, half the goal with giving points toward a reward, is the ability to take them away when she misbehaves.

Nov 08, 2009 12:33 by merendis.
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@merendis: Your advice today has been swell. Let me know if you start an advice column.

Nov 08, 2009 17:23 by athanie.
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@merendis: OK, I must have missed what @a_noob said, too. xD Well, it seems you're definitely on the right track! No matter the punishment or reinforcement, when dealing with a child, especially one like this, I believe it's important to turn threats such as "You clean up your room this minute or no dinner!" to "You're welcome at the dinner table after you get your room cleaned up." Since her parents' reinforcement of her negative behavior can't be helped, it's probably just the best to punish her tantric behavior while remaining in a positive light.

... I should also probably say that all the advice I've been giving, I've been interpreting from my Psychology textbook. xD
... If it helps, I have an A in the class... >_>;;

Nov 08, 2009 17:58 by jvanalstyne.
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You identified the problem -- it's the parents. As long as they avoid discipline you are will be fighting two battles. I'm wondering if they are delegating this responsibility to you, too.

But I'll offer something else. Some children can never be 'told' anything; they must experience things for themselves. We had one of those. He would scream for things we would refuse. His first word was 'No.' His second? 'Mine.' All though his childhood and adolescence it was this way. I finally figured out that he was storing what we said and did, and when he had to deal with these things now that he's on his own, he behaves rationally.

@Merendis, your charge is absorbing what you say and do, but she is not responding immediately. It may take over a decade for your influence to take effect. Not sure what you can do with the parents -- they will cause many problems for their daughter.

Nov 09, 2009 03:44 by passepartout.

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in my dreams lately there have been snakes in the sandbox, and still we plunged our hands down deep, pulling out fistfuls of grainy mass and letting it drain through our fingers like shower water onto the never ending backs of the snakes that swam in and out, up and down, round and round, creating tan waves of undulating movement and sand-garden-esque designs, telling stories we became so enthralled with that we forgot all about our fears of venomous fangs or boa constricting strength. we giggled uncontrollably when their smooth scaly epidermis brushed our finger tips and the snakes seemed to part their v-shaped lips in vague smile. we had pleased them. i'm not sure what this means. how do i get rid of them? :|

Nov 08, 2009 03:10 by bloodredbits

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Shoot, sounds like both you and the snakes are having fun. I wouldn't worry too much about getting rid of them.

Nov 08, 2009 07:18 by athanie.
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It's your dream. Your head. If it means anything, you're the one who knows what that is. I would have thought, anyway.
Supposedly snakes symbolise subconscious fears. Is anything scaring you at the moment? Why?
Also, @athanie makes a good point, I think.

Nov 08, 2009 08:13 by rabbitdan.
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You might be in a situation where there is a potential of danger (hanging out with people who excite you but might turn on you.) You are having so much fun right now that you are choosing to ignore your better judgement and just go with the situation. Enjoying the coolness of the now but suppressing your feelings of caution. The people you are hanging out with know you are trying to please them, enjoying it, and might use that power against you. They are putting on a "good show" for you and possibly a good of yours. Reconnect with your better judgement. How's that?

Nov 08, 2009 08:38 by lisette.
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The second to last sentence was suppose to read "and a good friend of yours.

Nov 08, 2009 09:14 by lisette.
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Most psychologists theorize that dreams are just a manifestation of our recent memories of the day, which may include triggers for other memories, creating even more dreams. They believe this since it appears that while in sleep, our brains are busy storing these memories away. I suggest you might just try forgetting the snakes, or ignoring them. I hypothesize that the more you make a big deal out of it, the more likely you are to keep dreaming about them.

Nov 08, 2009 11:31 by jvanalstyne.

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In my boss' words (commenting on all the staff) "Incentives? They're beyond motivation, they're all fuckers, every last one"

But I love my job - what to do?

Nov 08, 2009 01:41 by kandilquick

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Have you already told him that this bothers you?
Confrontation can be very hard, especially when your boss is involved. Maybe you can tell your manager (if you have one) your problems?

You know not everyone is beyond motivation, you could try to tell him.

Nov 08, 2009 01:49 by x-u.
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businesses need to realize that money, or yelling doesn't motivate. The number one thing that motivates someone is working on something fun, even if it's not all the time (especially if it's not all the time).

Nov 08, 2009 06:48 by toyotaboy.
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This is tough. Perhaps a one on one with your boss. Tell him what you told us. You love your job and you enjoy learning from him. He may be the one that needs to know he came make a difference. Keep it short, simple, and professional. This will help you build your motivational skills for when you manage others. Maybe look for an opportunity to transfer to another boss or area. He is not the mentor for you. He is not a forward thinker like you. This is a great opportunity to learn how to be a positive motivator. It's tough to deal with negativity. Use it! We have to practice these skills. It will serve you later.

Nov 08, 2009 09:32 by lisette.
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If you truly love it you'll make it to the top.

Nov 08, 2009 20:09 by discomeg2.
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Thank you! Will definately try to have that one-on-one :)

Nov 08, 2009 23:51 by kandilquick.

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I don't think that any of us have enough time to sort this mess out. That's me on the left and my life on the right at the moment. I'll spare you.

Nov 08, 2009 01:01 by thedigitalghost

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Nobody deserves the train wreck.

Nov 08, 2009 01:18 by flaccid.
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@flaccid: indeed.

Nov 08, 2009 07:14 by rebecaca.
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swap the train for a bumper car

Nov 08, 2009 11:29 by coco-tidan.
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Good luck. Tomorrow shall be a new day.

Nov 08, 2009 20:33 by leopicado.

Tell us about a problem that you're having (of any kind – cookery, love, technical, etc). Help other people out and post ideas in the comments :-D

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